My daughter failed a college class, and I did not completely freak out!
- Agather College Consulting
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
by: Liz Agather, Agather College Consulting
“Mom, I might have failed English 201.”
When my daughter said this to me in December of her freshman year in college, I thought it was a joke or exaggeration. She arrived at college with 12 hours of credit, and we had no concerns about her ability to handle the college course load, especially in a performing arts curriculum.
Later, when her grades were published, she had 5 “A's” and one “F” in English 201.
Honestly, I was confused. How does a student fail when she did well in AP English classes in high school? She is a strong writer and always shot for the A+ in everything she did. We still laugh at the massive volcano she created in middle school to get the extra credit. An “A” was not good enough. She always wanted the “A+.”
The reality was that her perfectionism ultimately got the best of her. She spent too much time on the first writing assignment, which was the foundation for all the assignments throughout the semester, and she never caught up. She was taking 18 hours and could have easily dropped the class, but we never had that conversation.
I now know that it is common for students to fail a college class. High school teachers rarely allow a student to fail. In college, professors are more apt to fail a student since actions or lack of actions have consequences.
This happened a long time ago, and her memory is that I was calm and we discussed expectations and natural consequences. She lost a portion of her scholarship for the following semester and paid for it out of her funds. My memory is that I overreacted a bit.
In retrospect, I wish I had checked in during the semester and reminded her that adults and resources were available to help her navigate the journey. She had options, but she had no idea how to explore them. When I visited her in October, she never mentioned any academic issues. We had a long conversation about being safe on dating apps, which was new for me then. I was surprised college girls were even on dating apps!
The good news is that she embraces our philosophy, “Don’t spend more than five minutes worrying about something that will not matter in five years.” Of course, I wish she had spent those five minutes reaching out in October or November, when dropping the class and finding a tutor were options, but as we also say, “Smooth seas don’t make skilled sailors.”
Gratefully, she found her groove, and this event helped reinforce the idea that in life, things we need to do can either be a glass ball or a rubber ball. A rubber ball can fall, roll, and get picked up later. A glass ball is something that needs to be handled with care, as it will shatter if it drops to the floor. Turning in work on time in college can be a bit of a glass ball, and turning in “B” or "C" work on time is better than late “A” work.
As parents, when we send our beloved children to college, we need to remind them that we love them regardless of their grades and encourage them to reach out to a trusted adult when they encounter a challenge they cannot navigate alone. But, most importantly, if they drop a glass ball, the sun will come up the next day! We all shatter a few!
As a college admissions consultant, I share my Agather College Consulting (ACC) ABCs for students and families to help with the college transition. Enjoy and pass them on!
ACC Student ABCs for a Successful College Transition
A - Attend the first week of activities, sign up for three clubs, and attend meetings. Be intentional about finding your village.
B – BLOCK time to study, sleep, exercise, eat, & enjoy friends – in college, you are in class less & need to STUDY to learn material not presented in class. Use your syllabi and mark all your key dates at the beginning of the semester.
C - Connection is key. Students who find friends and activities on campus are more likely to be content and successful.
D - Don’t buy books before class; some professors don’t use the books listed on the syllabus. Check rentals/used (Amazon, Chegg). Check www.bigwords.com for the best price. Be sure you get the online code if needed. Some schools price-match.
E – Enrolling in college is like enrolling in a gym; the more work and effort you put into it, the better the results.
F – Find your people by joining clubs, volunteering, working on campus, and introducing yourself to classmates.
G - Go to class (you are paying for it), read your notes before and after class, and share/compare notes with friends.
H – Homesickness is NORMAL; expect it; know it does pass; stay at school on weekends and find your village.
I - Include an extra class on your initial schedule; drop your least favorite class before the add/drop date.
J – Jot down the phone numbers of a student in every class and share/compare notes. Study groups are key to learning.
K – Know how to navigate medical issues; recognize symptoms for illness (flu/common cold), or drug overdoses, and what medicines to take (to include NARCAN); where to get routine/urgent care; understand your medical coverage, and bring your medical cards.
L – Locate counseling and tutoring services during the first week of school; know that successful students use resources. Sign up for a counseling appointment before school gets stressful.
M – Mom/Dad LOVE to hear from you; set up a weekly check-in.
N - NEVER drink from an unknown/unsupervised container, and KNOW that the first three months of college are the most vulnerable for freshmen, who can be targeted by upperclassmen (sad but true at some schools).
O - Office hours are for you; use them. Get to know your professors and advisors; you never know what tips you will get.
P – Plan out your budget; Starbucks and pizza add up quickly.
Q – Quiet time is key to calm; find places to recharge your body and mind.
R – RAs and Rate Your Professors.com are key Resources; use them to understand your school and professors.
S – Safety first; know your surroundings; go out in groups; carry protection; read the rules for what is permitted (mace, stun gun); don’t walk alone at night…ever; don’t assume you are safe on campus; verify your Uber license plate.
T - THINK AHEAD about what you want your first year to look like: classes, activities, a friend group, and a GPA.
U - Use study groups. College is about absorbing a lot of material quickly, and study groups help.
V – Vaping/drugs/hook-up apps/blackout drunk, cheating, or misuse of AI are bad choices with long-term consequences.
W – Writing/tutor centers rock; be a rock star and use these “free” resources--you are paying for them!
X – Xpect to be challenged living on your own, but know you are not alone.
Y – YOU can do hard things, and you got this! Don’t spend more than five minutes worrying about something that will not matter in five years. Contact a trusted adult if you struggle with something beyond your control.
Z – ZZZs are key to success. Sleep is your best tool for success. Turn off distractions and enjoy a good night’s sleep.
